The challenges of Christmas

I understand that Christmas and New Year, while festive and joyous for most, it can be a difficult time of year for many people for a multitude of reasons. However, whatever you’re going through there are ways that could help you feel a little more seen and not alone with what you feel. I am writing this as someone who struggles to find joy in the lead up to and aftermath of the festive season in hopes that it will make others reading this feel a little less alone and provide ways of getting support.

There are many reasons that the festive season can be challenging whether that be grief, financial stress, mental health difficulties or many other reasons. I spoke to members of the public to find out what they thought. One person I spoke to said: “Christmas fills me with a real buzz [but] conversations with people [saying] ‘are you all sorted for Christmas?’ only increases anxiety. It feels like you’re the only one that has lots left to do.”

This feeling of pressure from people getting things done around you can cause a lot of stress. There is also the pressure of 'trying to think of ideas for children, relatives and friends' often feeling like if you don’t choose correctly, you are letting everyone down. The financial stress of buying gifts can cause tensions in families to rise especially when each person is in a different financial situation and there is an expectation of ‘fancy or expensive’ gifts from those who are having money difficulties or have more people to buy for than others.

As someone who struggles with their mental health all year round, Christmas can be extremely challenging as there is often the unspoken expectation to be happy and full of festive joy. One person said: “the unrealistically happy songs [are a] disorientating juxtaposition with the cold and dreary weather” making people feel forced into acting happy. I know there are others that feel the same about Christmas. When I spoke to another person they said that “Christmas has always been a factor in my depression.” They added that the 'darker and colder' days make them 'quite miserable'. Christmas Day is extremely challenging as 'pretending to be happy'. Some families can be very stressful as much of the time everyone wants the day to run a specific way and that tends not to go to plan. Some conversations can also cause tension due to differences in views about many things. for example, finances, life, religion. We’ve all had that conversation with a family member where they ask “when are you having children; getting married; have you got a promotion recently; if not, why not?” It’s often awkward and uncomfortable.

The Christmas period can be very joyous for many people and there are some things that you could try to help you enjoy the Christmas period. Some suggestions from people I spoke to are: The B.A.D makers market in Boscombe (free entry); Bournemouth Christmas tree wonderland and market (free entry); an at-home spa day with friends; going to a local pantomime. There are many things that you could do to cheer yourself up both before and after Christmas, however if you are struggling there is a list of support lines below. If you are struggling but able, try to spend time with friends and family as they are often great support in times of need and can make you feel less lonely. Another person I spoke to said: “Christmas is what you make it” and to a degree that is true, so try filling your time with things you enjoy; they don’t have to be festive things.

Whatever you do over this holiday season, know that there is support out there if you need it.

Happy Holidays everyone.